Role Models for Charity

The Astros have finally offered some insight into why they nixed the gala benefiting HAWC, and the whole Astros’ Wives organization, and it doesn’t sound very nice. From the Houston Chronicle:

But as public opinion on social media was turning against the Astros, the team released statements that questioned the integrity of the wives organization.

“While we were in the process of deciding on our new strategic focus, the Astros Foundation also reviewed details of the wives gala and its budgeting, culled from recent publicly available tax returns,” said Vaillancourt, the team’s senior VP of community relations. “We learned that in recent years, in our opinion, it appeared far too much of the funds raised by the gala seemed to go towards expenses, rather than to the charity.

“As a best charitable practice, it is common to expect some 70 percent — or more whenever possible — of funds raised should go towards the charitable purpose people intended in supporting the event. In the case of the gala, in recent years, it appears that a little more than half — and at least in one recent year, less than half — of the funds raised actually went to the Women’s Center.”

In the last available IRS filings, the Astros Wives Organization had $432,000 in contributions in 2011 and distributed $220,000 to the Houston Area Women’s Center. That’s 50.9 percent to charity. Most of the other money was used to fund the banquet and silent auction, which were held at Minute Maid Park and included fees paid to the Astros.

The Houston Chronicle then provided an interesting comparison:

Vaillancourt came to the Astros this year from the Red Sox Foundation. By comparison, the Red Sox Foundation had $9.2 million in contributions in 2011 and distributed $4.4 million in grants. That’s 47.9 percent to charity.

Again, not only did I work for the Women’s Center, I’ve spent almost my entire career fundraising for nonprofits, so I feel comfortable offering some insight.

I’m something of an extremist when it comes to events. If you work with me on an event, you’ll have to fight for every expenditure you want to make. I’d serve crackers and ice water if I could get away with it. But there are reasons to be nice to your guests. While events are an inefficient way to raise money, compared to activities like one-to-one requests for a major gift (e.g. I sit down with you and ask for $50,000, which you give me, and all I do is pay for your lunch), they offer benefits that cannot be measured in dollars:

• They foster a sense of community among supporters. There’s great value in bringing people who believe in the same thing together, in a room, to reinforce the value of what they give and the appreciation others have for them.
• They create an opportunity to educate your supporters about things you do. You can have staff, and, in some instances where it is appropriate, clients of your program on hand to answer questions and talk about the impact your nonprofit is having with the people who support it.
• They give people different ways to support you. Those who can’t afford a ticket might donate time to help with decorations, set-up, and break-down. Those who are gifted videographers or photographers can donate those services. Money is a great thing to give, but it isn’t the only thing that nonprofits need.
• They help get your charity’s name and cause in the public eye. Not everyone knows or cares about the event photos in CultureMap, Paper City, or the Chronicle, but for a segment of our community, that kind of recognition is important, valued, and helps reinforce the impulse to do good on a grand scale.

Let’s talk about that last one. When you hear gala, do you picture jeans, sneakers, and hot dogs at the ball park? Or do you picture the lavish gowns, towering flower arrangements, and special touches like peacock feathers sewn into the linens or dancing girls on columns dressed in shimmering white?

There are ten or fifteen galas in this town that rake in mega-bucks, way into the six figures, and we hear all about them. Other organizations have to balance the pressure of creating a fun evening with the fact that their galas aren’t drawing that kind of scratch. Normally, professionals are involved who can help volunteer gala chairs find the responsible junction of budget and vision, but if you are looking to criticize, you’ll always be able to find an expense on an event budget that could have been lower.

Could there have been better fiscal oversight? Maybe. But who was training the wives in how to evaluate expenses versus returns for a gala?

What sort of pressures were they feeling, especially as the new, young partners of the new, young players (because that’s generally who put in the most time on the galas when I was involved, the newer, younger players and wives), to produce an event that looked like everything else they saw going on in the community? Did they feel pressure to make the team look good? Their husbands? Certainly, they were dealing with all kinds of expectations while starting families, learning how to cope with fame and fortune, and doing it in a new city far from families and friends. 

There may be some fair criticism of how money was spent, and I’m quite sure I could’ve cut the budget, but the way to handle that is not through defensive statements to the media after the fact.

Now, in addition to alienating the community, the team has alienated the incredible women who devoted hours and dollars helping to put together an event that they were proud of, and one that raised a very significant amount of money for a very worthy charity. Most years, in fact, if not every year, the Astros’ Wives is the largest single contribution the Women’s Center gets. That’s an accomplishment to be proud of and something to keep striving for, not something to earn them the side eye from new management.

If the concern is effective, efficient charity, I hope that the new management will work with the team—players, partners, spouses—to teach them what that looks like. Give them the skills, introduce them to mentors, show them a new way to do it.

Again, the Women’s Center can still be an excellent partner. That is an agency that lives closer to the bone than just about any agency in our city. Why not use the Race Against Violence 5K as a learning lab for the players and Astros family? That would be a great teaching tool for examining the ways you can spend or save money producing an event, and everybody wins.

This just seems to be one of those times when a simple wow, we’re sorry, we didn’t handle this well might be better than pointing to people who are gone and can’t defend themselves to say how they’re the ones that ruined it for everyone.

A Note on Who Knew What When
The Astros are also saying that they told the Women’s Center in February that they were not doing the event this year.

HAWC’s fiscal year is the calendar year. That means they had to submit a 2013 budget for board approval before the end of 2012. Realistically, this would mean that the budget, with a line item from the Wives donation (always a conservative estimate) would have been set in late October or early November of 2012. So, telling HAWC in February that there wouldn’t be an event in July or August or September still leaves them hanging.

The Astros, Their Wives, Charity, and the Houston Area Women’s Center

Full disclosure—I used to work at the Houston Area Women’s Center, so I definitely have some strong feelings about this. Keep in mind, however, that I speak only for myself on this blog.

I’m really upset that the Houston Astros have left the Houston Area Women’s Center in the lurch as far as the gala this year. I know the people and the programs that will suffer without those funds, and let me tell you, it will hurt.

I’d like to suggest some constructive next steps the parties involved in this meltdown might take to not just repair the damage, but to launch a new partnership that is beneficial to each party and the larger community.

You can read the basics at KHOU (which broke the story), CultureMap (and an update here, with comments from the Astros), the Houston Press (which brings in some additional elements of recent developments with the ball club), and undoubtedly many other places. Great, long history and details on the Houston Chronicle. But the quick history:

• The Astros, through their Astros’ Wives organization, traditionally held a black-tie gala benefiting the Houston Area Women’s Center, our region’s oldest,  largest, and exceedingly well-respected nonprofit organization supporting survivors of domestic and sexual violence and educating the community on how to create a world free of such violence.
• The gala has happened for so long, and been so well-received by the community, that the proceeds have become a key line item in the agency’s annual operating budget.
• The ball club just announced that it is “officially” disbanding the Astros’ Wives, and that the club will redirect its charitable focus toward troubled youth and inner-city baseball programs.
• KHOU broke the story this morning.

My thoughts, which I hope might form the basis for constructive move-aheads:

Fill the Gap
The immediate need is making sure HAWC has the funds they need to finish their budget year. Making do without the gala proceeds is like asking a team to play without a shortstop.

Let’s not wait for the team to act. You can donate here. Share the link once you’ve kicked in your bit, and remember, even $15 or $50 helps.

Not So Quick on Disbanding the Wives Organization
It might seem to some that an Astros’ Wives organization is both an anachronism given the times, and anathema to a feminist, but the fact is, major league baseball is played by men. Many, though not all, have wives, girlfriends, and families. I hope very soon that they go public with the fact that some have husbands, boyfriends, and families, too. The partners and families need a way to connect to the community in which they live some or all of the time, and having an organization with a certain level of structure and programming consistency is a nice way to make sure that happens with intention. Seems they might change the name, but reconsider disbanding.

But Don’t Make it All About the Women
The fact is, domestic violence and sexual assault should not be women’s issues or wives’ issues. We, all of us, anywhere on the gender spectrum, have a role to play. We should not perpetrate, tolerate, or perpetuate violence. Violence is a learned behavior, and the more we educate ourselves about how to stop it, the better chance we have of one day seeing a world in which it is a rare beast instead of a cruel, daily reality.

In other words, the MEN WHO PLAY BASEBALL can step up to the plate here. Obviously, their status as sports role models gives incredible heft to their words and actions, and they cannot underestimate the power they have. Why limit support for HAWC to the auxiliary organization?

Why do you think those “troubled youth” might be troubled?
I get wanting to shift the charitable focus to something in line with baseball. Inner-city baseball programs need and deserve support. But if you step back and look at the problems “troubled youth” are coping with, I can guarantee you that a not-insignificant portion of them are coping with domestic and sexual violence. A parent is abused, or abusive. A relative touched them and it wasn’t right. They’re being bullied. They’re being disrespectful—or disrespected—in their intimate relationships with kids their own age. They are surrounded by it, and it is a tragedy.

Domestic and sexual violence happen everywhere, in every zip code, at every income level. The survivors need support, and the rest of everyone needs to know how to provide the support and prevent future incidents. HAWC’s mission is still a fit even with a new focus for the club’s philanthropic efforts.

Reinstate & Re-imagine the Safe At Home Campaign
Before I worked at HAWC, the Astros produced (in-house, I believe) a series of public service announcements focused on the role we all play in ending domestic and sexual violence. The tag line was everyone deserves to be safe at home. I know someone has the tapes—I’d like to say it was Biggio and Bagwell-era—so let’s bring it up to speed and make it bigger.

For the Astros to use in-house resources, from campaign design to production, to develop and roll out a comprehensive anti-domestic and sexual violence campaign would be an incredible service. And why not set it up so that as other teams roll through town to play, they, too, could record their own versions that they can share with agencies like HAWC in their own communities?

Underwear Night at the Juice Box
OK, that is probably not the way we should phrase it, but the deal is this—from time to time, the Women’s Center has very specific needs for things. Women and children coming to the shelter often need new undergarments. Victims of sexual assault who have an advocate from HAWC meet them at the hospital as they undergo a sexual assault exam need clean sweatsuits to wear home—they have to surrender everything they were wearing as evidence of the assault. Kids at the shelter need backpacks and holiday toys like kids in any other program. 

What if once a year at a big home game, the team challenged fans to buy an Astros apparel gift certificate for HAWC, and offered to match every certificate purchased? Then, as the hospital accompaniment program needed sweats, they’d have a resource. Or, offer fans a half-price ticket if they bring new underwear (in a range of sizes) to donate? They could take care of this easy as you please and fill a real need.

At the same time, as the club does other activities and drives for baseball programs and schools, remember that HAWC’s shelter has both a playground and a school. Keep them on the list, and keep them in mind.

Gala? Why Not a 5K Instead? 
The Astros’ Wives gala may be a thing of the past. Scheduling it, to be honest, was always tricky, and the ticket prices were really high, so it wasn’t accessible to the entire community. An incredible amount of time and effort went into it, and the Wives had to have paid staff to support their volunteer work.

So scrap the gala. HAWC already has several other events that the Astros could commit to sponsoring. Taking part in an event that is already part of the calendar will mean an even bigger bang for the buck while reducing everyone’s work load and calendar commitments.

Why, I’m so glad you asked, I do have a particular event in mind!

Every year, HAWC hosts the Race Against Violence 5K Run & Family Walk. I’ve always wanted this to be a much, much, much bigger event than it is. I nurtured it, and have been thrilled as others have doubled down to drive its growth, but you know what would take it to the next level?

Having the Houston Astros sign on as the name sponsor for the next ten years, so there’s time to build something truly spectacular.

Milo Hamilton used to be the voice of the 5K. Back office folks used to field a team. Maybe they still do? There’s already a connection, a history. Let’s resurrect it and build on it. Bring the players to the post-race party to sign autographs for kids. Bring Astros vendors on board as additional sponsors. Help print the t-shirts. Help with prizes.There are a bazillion ways the team could electrify the 5K, and again, much of this is already part of the history of the race.

Institutionalized and super-sized? Imagine the possibilities.

I know the players can’t run it—we need them to stay off the injured list—but good grief, turning this event into their signature event could turn the Race Against Violence into the multi-million dollar event it needs to be, while bringing even more members of the community into the fold.

I HAVE MANY IDEAS ABOUT WAYS TO DO THIS. Seriously, Astros, call me.
Or call HAWC. But don’t leave us hanging, and don’t walk away from an important part of the ball club’s history.

We can do all kinds of things to turn this meltdown into a turning point towards a stronger, more rewarding, true partnership. That’s how we roll in Houston, right? Right.

I urge the team to make this right, and I urge everyone else to take some positive step today to make sure that the survivors of domestic and sexual violence who depend upon the hotline, shelter, counseling, and advocacy HAWC provides get what they need without a blip in service delivery.

Targeting the Tea Party

The facts aren’t all in, but my first reaction to news that some in the IRS took a special interest in investigating tea party-related organizations?

Well, DUH.

Let’s say you’re the at the IRS, and your job is investigating people who might be breaking the law. You have some groups that have tea party in their name, who:

1. By their very name, allude to our nation’s most famous tax protest.
2. By their very mission, suggest an inclination to consider many federal laws inapplicable.
3. By their very actions, engage in a substantial amount of activity that qualifies as direct and/or grassroots lobbying, something which can trigger strict reporting requirements at the federal level, and at the state level, too.

If the IRS staffer sitting in front of a whole stack of tax filings has to decide who to investigate, doesn’t it make sense to lower the horns in the general direction of groups waving those particular red capes?

I’m not worried about a chilling effect. Are these groups complaining about having to do  everything 100% by the book? We regulate 501(c)(3)s, 501(c)(4)s, and 527 PACs pretty tightly, and everybody’s got to play by the rules.

Update – you won’t be surprised to know that the IRS often gets urged to look into whether a group should lose tax exempt status, often by people who oppose what the group is doing. Case in point: House Ways & Means committee members, Republicans, urging the IRS to look into the AARP because of their advocacy on healthcare.

Shopping and Music

I know there’s a science behind the music that gets played in stores. I’d like to think my awareness of that fact, coupled with my extreme loathing for spending money unnecessarily, reduces my susceptibility to the science behind the selections, but I’m sure I fall for it on occasion.

My favorite music/shopping experience, hands down, was grocery shopping at the Dunlavy Fiesta, a.k.a. Oldies Fiesta. The new H-E-B across the street has sort of taken up where Fiesta left off, but I’ve yet to see people absolutely rocking out the way I frequently did at Fiesta. In those aisles, it wasn’t just heads nodding or sotto voce humming. It was arms flailing, singing out loud while looking other shoppers right in the eye while they, too, let loose. It felt great. 

My least favorite music/shopping experience has got to be music at outdoor shopping malls, like the area that has sprung up where Town & Country Mall used to loom over a collection of smaller shopping plazas, between Memorial and I-10 along the northbound feeder for Beltway 8.

Today, they had a Sirius radio station playing, which is unusual, when you think about it. Generally, stores have DJ-free, continuous music programming, whether through Muzak or some other service. The music didn’t rise to the level of me noticing it, but the DJ breaking in between songs with platitudes about Mother’s Day was creepy. There I was, walking in the open air, with some strange man’s voice giving me instructions on how to treat my mom. Very dystopic.

Just about as disorienting, though not as sinister, was the music playing during lunch. For the sake of my family, I drove to Maine-ly Sandwiches, Houston’s newest and only spot specializing in authentic New England lobster rolls. I wouldn’t want to make my family drive all the way out I-45 if the lobster rolls weren’t worth it. You understand. I make sacrifices for these people.

The food: I think my mom will like the lobster rolls, but she will find them skimpy. I’ll recommend she ask for, and offer to pay for, a full-size serving of lobster in the half-size roll.

The music: this sandwich shop is already an oddity, in a strip center near the intersection of I-45 and Beltway 8. It is about the most un-Maine place you could be in Houston.

While it would’ve been hilarious (to me and seven other people, I guess) would’ve been hearing this:

Instead, satellite radio struck again. This time, however, it was set to a pop station from Australia, complete with commercials for shopping and lawn centers. Very, very unusual. I’d like to know the science behind that plan.

Something Fishy at Reef Restaurant in Houston

Update 5/14/13: I don’t have all of the details yet, and want to double-check before I spread news that isn’t mine to spread, but it sounds like the Reef and Planned Parenthood folks have come together to bridge the gap, and we may have a solution that leaves everyone with a much better taste in their mouths. Like the taste of a shrimp shooter or a Club No Minor milkshake shot.

Original: The story has gone public: Planned Parenthood Gulf Coast had two venues back out of agreements at the last minute for events scheduled to take place on Tuesday, May 7, 2013.

One was a bar, Proof, that was to host a cocktail reception for the Young Leaders group from 6 to 8 p.m. Late in the afternoon on Monday, May 6th, around 4 p.m., word went out that Proof had backed out. By 5 p.m. that same night, another club stepped up to host the event, and the change in venue was announced on the event’s Facebook page and in emails to attendees.

The other venue to cancel on Planned Parenthood was a restaurant, Reef, that was to host a smaller event for approximately 20 people from 5 to 6 p.m. on Tuesday, May 7th.

According to Bill Floyd of Reef, he cancelled the at approximately 2:30 p.m. on the day, Tuesday, the event was supposed to take place.

Floyd’s account is fishy. (Sorry, it had to be said.)

Proof’s management originally said that Bill Floyd at Reef, the restaurant that shares a building with them, strongly suggested that it would be in Proof’s best interest not to host the event, and that there would be consequences if the event, and the protesters affiliated with it, somehow interfered with his business or created negative publicity.

Has Floyd never encountered the Streisand effect?

Subsequently, Proof’s only public comment has been to say their decision was a matter of logistics.

Floyd has been trumpeting logistics as the reason for the cancellation as well, saying that an event the size of the larger happy hour taking place while his restaurant was at full capacity would overwhelm available parking spaces.

Keep in mind, however, that Floyd asserted he cancelled on Tuesday in his statement to Alison Cook of the Houston Chronicle. That’s a day after the larger event, the one  creating a parking problem, had already been moved to another location. 

With the event no longer taking place, why should Reef cancel? After all, with no event at the bar upstairs, Reef should have had all the parking capacity necessary to accommodate a full house.

Floyd can sputter all he wants about logistics and parking. The cancellation only happened because the party that had reserved the space was Planned Parenthood.

One of the comments Floyd made is particularly notable:

“We have absolutely no axe to grind,” Floyd says heatedly. “Bryan [Caswell, his partner] and I do not pick sides or discriminate. We host events here for Democrats and Republicans, atheists and agnostics.” He adds that he and Caswell have been big supporters of Legacy Houston, an HIV activist group, and that it’s “absurd” to depict them as “anti-Planned Parenthood. That is so far from the truth.”

This is the classic Good Guy™ defense. Hey, I do something for this one group I perceive as marginalized, so give me a pass on discriminating against this other group I perceive as marginalized.

What particularly amuses me about Floyd asking for a pass on dissing PP because of his  support for Legacy, an outstanding federally qualified health center, is that the Legacy CEO is a relentless advocate for Planned Parenthood. Time and again, when she could very easily stand aside and stay out of the spotlight, she’s chosen to stand up and speak out on behalf of Planned Parenthood.

What’s the lesson another business should learn from this debacle?

The presence of protesters and police never deters people from entering Planned Parenthood’s clinics, and never deters them from taking part in regular events at venues across town.

The perception of discrimination against Planned Parenthood, however, frequently deters people from supporting a business. If Bill Floyd is unclear about this, I have three words for him to reflect upon:

Susan G. Komen. 

I won’t be going to Reef, and I’ll be avoiding Floyd’s other restaurants, El Real and Little Big’s, as well. I know plenty of other Planned Parenthood supporters who will be avoiding them as well. These are individuals who not only dine out on their own time, but who regularly schedule large, expense account-funded dinners for law firms, energy companies, banks, and other businesses they own or manage.

So far, most of the agitation over this has taken place offline, in phone calls:

Bill Floyd spent five hours on the phone on Wednesday trying to explain himself to ticked-off board members and supporters of Planned Parenthood Gulf Coast, the Houston arm of the national women’s health organization. At one point things grew so fraught that Floyd, who co-owns the high profile Reef seafood restaurant with chef Bryan Caswell, asked former Governor Mark White, one of his valued regulars, to make some phone calls to help manage the situation.

Floyd’s partner, who tweets as @Wholefish, apparently has heard of the Streisand effect. His Twitter feed has only on message about this incident:

@shaileygb please do, i am mortified by the mis-information that is going on. info@reefhouston.com—
Bryan Caswell (@Wholefish) May 10, 2013

Sadly, the misinformation that is mortifying him seems to be coming from his partner.

I have a suggestion for a way Reef and Proof might be able to make amends for their unprofessional treatment of a well-respected nonprofit that has been providing care in Houston for over 75 years. The Planned Parenthood Young Leaders summer fundraiser is just around the bend. They’ll need donated food, both for the underwriter party before the event, and the night of the event itself. They’ll also need the hook-up to a liquor distributor or two who can donate liquor, wine, and beer for the cause. Perhaps Bryan, Bill, and the event chairs can negotiate a donation, and connection, and some détente?

Other coverage of the story:

• Houston Press: Planned Parenthood’s Sandra Fluke Event Forced Out Of Midtown Bar
• CultureMap: Two Midtown Hotspots Take Heat After Planned Parenthood Forced to Move Fundraiser at the Last Minute

Why Being Pro-Choice Encompasses More Than Abortion

Fundamentally, being pro-choice is shorthand for saying that a woman—not her doctor, nor her priest, nor her state or federal legislator—is the person who should control her own body.

Agency. Bodily integrity. The right to choose whether and when to become a parent.

Forced sterilization that prevents someone from having a wanted pregnancy is as abhorrent as forcing someone to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term by restricting access to abortion.

If this story about sterilization without consent is true … this is simply horrifying to contemplate. There are allegations that a signed consent form exists. Hard to know what to think about this specific case, not knowing the facts.

Top Tips for Shaking People Down for the Cause

Thanks to the internet, we’re all fundraisers now. How can you stand out and make sure you bring in the big bucks?

Here are some of the things I kept in mind while I rolled past my fundraising goal for this year’s Lilith Fund Bowl-a-Thon:

1. Give the first gift.
If you don’t believe in what you are doing enough to put your own cash on the line, why should anyone else? Not everyone likes to go first, and people are more likely to give once the pump has been primed, so put your money down at the start.

2. It’s about joy.
If you’re doing this for a cause, you are offering people the chance to invest in something they will enjoy supporting. They might believe in the cause and take joy in advancing it. They might believe in YOU, take joy in supporting you, and care nothing about the cause. Remember, you aren’t forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do. You’re creating an opportunity for them to feel great about taking part in something larger than themselves. Don’t be shy about creating opportunities for joy!

3. Ask early and often.
If you are using passive measures, like Facebook and Twitter posts, make sure you post often enough, and early enough, that people who check in at different times of day or on different days will see your messages. (If you wait until the last minute,  signal to people that you’re only going to be blanketing the airwaves only for the next 48 hours. Tell them you’ll stop posting and pinging once you hit your goal.)

4. Make’m say no to your face.
It is easy to ignore someone’s Facebook status. You can throw away a letter that comes in the mail. It is harder, however, to say no to someone when they call you on the phone to ask for help. And it is really hard to say no to someone’s face. If you are striking out in your passive asks and mass appeals, try asking people one on one. It may be hard, but you believe in what you are doing, right? 

5. Don’t take no personally.
Well, I guess you can take it personally if someone says they would have given except for the fact that it is you asking. But otherwise, remember, it isn’t about you. The timing may not be right, or the cause may not be one that interests the person. Some highly organized people have a budget and stick to it, so they can’t accommodate your request. 

6. Offer incentives IF you can do so without creating havoc.
Heed the example of Kickstarter—don’t offer an incentive that will cost you more (in time or money) to fulfill than you can handle.

7. You don’t need to offer incentives.
Don’t think that people are really going to give because of your incentive. Think about it. If you really needed a coffee mug or tote bag, you’d buy one. You wouldn’t wait for the public radio pledge drive. Sure, 1 time in 100, someone is giving for the incentive, and it can be a nice touch, but people give because they care about you and they care about the cause.

8. Say thank you.
As I type that, I am terrified that I did not acknowledge all of the donors to my most recent fundraising project. A quick thank you via email, a shout-out on Twitter, whatever form it takes, get on it. It makes the person feel appreciated, and it reminds other people that they, too, could give.

9. Make it easy for people to give.
Create a short-link to your fundraising page. Print some cards with your name & pitch & short-link that you can hand out to people when you talk to them about it. Have the page book-marked on your iPad so someone can give right then & there while you’re talking about it. Don’t make people hunt for the details.

10. Offer other ways to help.
If someone tells you they’d like to donate, but can’t, ask if they might post a link on their Facebook page, or RT you, or hand out your cards. Who knows who they know that you don’t?