Tomorrow, in the House State Affairs committee, a bill will be considered. Freshman Rep. Molly White (R-Surely Another Planet) outlined all of the signs she thinks clinics should put up if they perform abortions. You know, to make the clinics safe.
HB 1648 calls for one sign that would say this, in 2-inch letters, in both English and Spanish, that would have to be displayed in each waiting room, consultation room, and procedure room:
NOTICE: It is against the law for a person, regardless of that person’s relationship to you (for example, your husband, parent, boyfriend, or teacher), to coerce or force you to have or seek an abortion. You have the right to a telephone in a private room to contact any local or state law enforcement agency to receive protection from any actual or threatened physical abuse or violence. Coercing or forcing a woman to have or seek an abortion is child abuse if the woman is a minor and may be punishable by up to a year in jail and up to a $4,000 fine. By law, a physician cannot perform an abortion, including inducing, prescribing for, or otherwise providing the means for an abortion, unless you give your voluntary and informed consent without coercion or force. It is against the law for a physician to perform an abortion against your will.
A sign that includes all of that, in English only, in letters two inches high, would be approximately 7’4″ tall by 4’6″ wide.
Other things approximately that size include:
- Some NBA players.
- Bathrooms in some houses.
- Sleeping compartments on trains in Europe.
Puts a new, rather un-funny perspective on everything being bigger in Texas, doesn’t it?
nonsequiteuse 
The Spanish version would be even bigger. I hope someone brings sample signs to the hearing to show the absurdity of this provision.
It was going to be prohibitively expensive to have a sample sign made, either printed or even using a stencil (b/c of the time cost) – I did drop off at Rep. Farrar’s office a blank piece of butcher paper cut to that size. It took up most of my kitchen floor, and I’ve got a big kitchen.
And if you vote agaionst this bill, I’m certain you’ll be characterized as “pro-abortion” next election cycle.
Amendment: Place a sign like this outside of every specialty office. 7 foot sign that says “NO ONE CAN DILATE YOUR EYES WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT. NOBODY CAN MAKE YOU WEAR THOSE UGLY GLASSES”
Another Amendment: Turn the outside of all (remaining) abortion clinics into a haunted house roller coaster ride in order for people to get in. Patients will hop in and then ride through ghosts and a mad scientist lab before getting off at the front door.
That’s funny.
‘ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO GET YOUR TEETH CLEANED? DID SOMEONE PUT YOU UP TO THIS?”