Can We All Agree to Tax This?

Politicians agree on almost nothing, except that none of them want to be the brave one who proposes raising taxes, even if raising taxes would actually help our economy and make our lives better.

Non-politicians owe it to ourselves, our elected officials, and our country to make it very clear to politicians exactly what taxes we want them to levy so they’ll get over it already and start fixing this country.

Being human, we are all very good at pointing out people and things that should be taxed that are not ourselves or our own things. I’m guilty of it for sure. Tax the millionaires, and especially those goddamn billionaires, I shout at the car radio on a regular basis. And fix the unnaturally low ceiling on income subject to payroll tax while you are at it, you spineless worms! Warren Buffett already said you could do it!

I suspect there are some things that we’re overlooking, however, things that we could all agree are so stupid, so useless, and so wasteful that we should tax the bejeezus out of them.

Disposable toilet paper roll covers top my list.

Have you seen the ads? I’m guessing you’ve got no idea the time, energy, and billable hours that have gone into creating this website about these noxious, unnecessary products.

I’ll be frank. Toilet paper already creates an expense as far as waste treatment goes, but I don’t think we’re going to give it up any time soon, nor would I advocate for that. I think we’ll give up gas-guzzling Hummers before we give up toilet paper. We’re still dealing with the baby steps of curbside recycling, after all.

Why, however, should we start to fill up our landfills with a new and unnecessary product—disposable, interchangeable, mass-produced toilet paper roll covers in “decorator” colors and patterns?

I’m not opposed to toilet paper roll covers in general, because you do need a place to store toilet paper. But we’ve got good options already, people. You can buy baskets woven from sustainable materials by indigenous people working in fair trade collectives. You can just put the toilet paper inside the closet or cabinet and it’ll do just fine. Or, needlecraft:

Mom's Toilet Paper Roll Cover, courtesy of Sam & Chelsea Powers via Flickr (Sam and/or Chelsea's mom, not mine, fyi. Mine keeps hers in the closet and doesn't worry about covering it up.)

Natural fibers, artisan-made by a local crafter. Could become a home-based business, and probably washable (which might felt it, but hey, that’s even craftier!).

We should tax Kimberly-Clark for making these, and tax consumers for buying them.

That’s right, I’m advocating a double tax. If you are going to make something so blatantly wasteful and bad for the environment, a double tax for you!

What other stupid retail products should we tax?

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2 Responses to Can We All Agree to Tax This?

  1. Brittanie says:

    When we lived in Korea we had a modern bidet. Who needs toilet paper?

    • nonsequiteuse says:

      I agree. Can you imagine the mass hysteria that would erupt if bidets started showing up in bathrooms across America? Or if we mandated them to cut back on solid waste issues created by toilet paper?? I’m cracking myself up thinking about what the looney-toons who’ve hijacked the GOP would have to say about calling it by its French name, let alone using one.

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