Well, we did it. After last year’s four-hour ordeal involving gnashing of teeth, dulling of saw blades, and downing of beer in a far-from-medicinal manner during the course of getting the damn tree put up, we went for a new approach this year.
1) We picked the 2nd tree we looked at, and it cost less by $30 or so than last year’s Yule stick. It leans a bit, but so do we.
2) I stepped away from the process once we’d picked the tree. I just sat in the car and listened to satellite radio. I didn’t wonder about whether anyone else was paying to have the tree freshly cut or not, I didn’t try to sneak the guy who loaded it on our car an extra tip, I just listened to the Fabulous Thunderbirds. I took the fact that Tuff Enuf was playing as a good omen.
3) Once we got home, I merely I opened the door and provided a one-handed assist once someone else brought the tree into the house. The tree which already had a stand affixed to it, courtesy of the place we bought it. Smart move.
So, in basically an hour, start to finish, we got it done.
Look, we took the Christ out of Christmas a long time ago in our household.* It was nice to take the Jesus H. Christ (and other less tame variations involving obscene gerundives and popsicle sticks) out of it, too.
Pictures to follow.
* Lest you fret for our immortal souls, or add us to a prayer list or something, I’m just saying that we accepted the complete and total takeover of a religious holiday by the relentless force of full force capitalism that is Christmas in the United States.