Get My Tinfoil Hat!

Quick!

I’m being bombarded with excessive doses of unintentional irony expressed by people who fundamentally do not understand the proper use of quotation marks. I suspect someone (you know who you are) is trying to distract me from the collapse of serial comma hegemony.

You. . .can’t. . .wear. . .me. . .down. . .ooomph. . .yarglebargle. . .must . . .punctuate. . .properly. . .

The latest example, though certainly not the greatest, arrived in my mail box courtesy of Gary Friedman, Chairman and Co-Chief Executive Officer of Restoration Hardware. The store, he reveals, after quoting Picasso and using an em-dash improperly, has transmogrified (my word, not his):

No longer mere “retailers” of home furnishings, we are now “curators” of the best historical design the world has to offer.

In a rush to sound important, he sounds, well, as pompous as I sound pointing out that his em-dash does not have the proper spacing. And looks like it might actually be an en-dash to boot.

Here’s the lesson, people.

Use quotation marks:

  1. To signify an actual direct quote.
  2. To indicate that you are using a word in an ironic fashion.

Do not use quotation marks for emphasis. Ever.

Gary Friedman, get new copywriters.

Lulu also asked for a tinfoil hat. She hates, hates, hates the improper use of quotation marks. She also wanted to contribute to the whole poodle in a tinfoil hat meme.

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One Response to Get My Tinfoil Hat!

  1. Pingback: I Can’t Get No Decent Fact-Checkers | nonsequiteuse

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