Five Reasons Houston Is Worth It (And Austin Isn’t)

Everybody’s all het up about SXSW, to which I say (with apologies to Ronny Elliott), so what.

I doubt I’m the only one who prefers Houston to Austin, and I have more than 5 reasons, but in honor of the weekend, I wanted to share a few.

1
If waitstaff showed up at any restaurant I go to in Houston with fingernails as dirty as the ones on those kids at Kerbey Lane, they’d be fired and my dinner would be comped.

2
Houston has at least as many east/west roads as north/south roads. At rush hour, you can go twice as far in half the time in Houston as you can in Austin. SUCH a pain to drive in Austin.

3
Things just move faster in Houston. Took a suit to be altered at the tailor in Austin and said I needed a quick turnaround. They said no problem, come back in 4 days. I go to Martin Tailors on Feagan in Houston, say the same thing, and they ask me to come back in 2 hours.

4
Houston is comfortable in its own skin. We’re a thriving international metropolis. Austin, even with the traffic and population explosion, still feels like a big town trying on city-ship for size. And acts like the zipper is poking it.

5
I’m plagarizing myself a bit—submission #129 to HIWI back in the day—but a whole bunch of people wind up in Austin because they lack imagination, or they don’t trust themselves, or they just don’t know why but they know they need to be somewhere. Or they never left.

It is easy to go to a city with a beautiful lake and soaring bridge. You can claim their soul is drawn there, and no one will question it, but you’re just letting the city speak for you.

Houston doesn’t speak for you – you speak for it.

You make it better, stronger, healthier, wealthier, more beautiful, and more dynamic. Houston is worth it because your dreams, goals, and accomplishments are worth it.  Houston is worth it because it will do everything it can to make those dreams and goals possible, and it will celebrate you for your accomplishments, no matter who you are and where you came from.

Houston is worth it because it knows YOU are worth it.

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6 Responses to Five Reasons Houston Is Worth It (And Austin Isn’t)

  1. Crystal says:

    Houston is that kid in high school who isn’t that attractive or popular or rich or a jock, so he/she nurtures other talents. Like a unique personality. And being nice to everybody. Without being self-conscious or worrying about what other people think because, hey, everyone’s busy watching what Austin is doing. No one’s noticing that Houston is turning into a lovely young person. Until the talent show, and then everyone’s, like, “What the? How did we not notice Houston before? I wonder who Houston’s going to the prom with…”

    Funny thing – Houston ISN’T going to the prom because it’s too busy doing way cooler, adult stuff. And that’s why I live here instead of 160 miles west. Even though a beautiful lake and a soaring bridge would be nice.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Again I say, it’s not that Austin is all hat and no cattle. But there are far fewer cattle than you’ve been led to believe.

    Give me Houston any day. And I’m only posting as Anonymous because I have to work with people in Austin and they take their superiority very seriously.

  3. Allen Hill says:

    Dear Anonymous,

    My name is Allen Hill and I too work with people in Austin and never miss an opportunity to let them know how much cooler Houston is than their town. Here’s a few reasons in addition to the nonsequiteuse’s that are guaranteed to get a strong reaction from Austinphiles:

    1. Houston, not Austin, is an integrated city. (If you really want to press some buttons you can mention that Austin is segregated)

    2. Austin looks more and more like Dallas everyday!

    3. Houston is an arts city. Total arts funding in our city trails only a few cities such as New York and Chicago. Only New York has more theater seats than Houston. Plus we have the Orange Show, built by a man who used his time creating a masterpiece instead of standing around trying to look cool.

    Yours in Hometown Houston Pride,
    Allen Hill

  4. nonsequiteuse says:

    I’m having trouble with a comment someone submitted – I can’t get it to post, so I’ve cut & pasted it here.

    Hipster from Austin says:
    what is this – a houston circle jerk? heh heh

    Sorry, Hipster, that I couldn’t get the comment approval to work & I had to bring you in this way. Wanted you to feel represented.

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